What does my deeper self desire?
As I sat down in bed responding to two questions in my kernel journal
* What do I want?
* What does my deeper self desire?
… the following showed up as the response to the latter question:
…to be touched, physically.
Held, hugged. Caressed, cared for.
Soft touch. Sensual touch.
Rough, heavy, earthy touch.
Lie atop me, breathe heavily.
Knead arms, legs, belly, breasts.
Light air touch.
Fingertips trailing cheekbones and jaw, light, light, like a spring breeze kissing me ever so softly. Air warmed from within, exhaled onto my naked body. A continous stream, as when singing legato. A dramatic shift, short puffs of air, air pulsing in staccato.
Fire, electric, warm, fingernails scratching, leaving traces on my skin, making marks on me. Hands moving in rapid karate chops down my back and shoulders, massaging, awakening, blood circulation afire. Fast hands roving all over my body, contrasting the slow unhurried hands of Earth.
Watery touch, like the drizzle of rain on a summer night, gently tip-tapping fingertips on my face, forehead, eyebrows, eyelids, the bridge of my nose, along the contours of my lips. Intensity of the finger-rain increasing, as if the drops are heavier, waterlogged, making ever more of a mark, turning torrential. Hands firmly making me feel every curve, every crest, every bone jutting out, felt.
Turning to aether, no more touching of my physical body, but then again, oh yes, definitely touched!
Caressed by an energy field, slowly, slowly, but a few centimeters above my body. I feel the energy field, enticing mine to rise up, up, up; mutual attraction.
Expanding bodily boundaries, I end not at the edge of my physical being. My skin no longer form the boundary of me, no longer contains all of me.
I expand into the space in between.